I've written a series of more abstract sonnets, not intended to be directly representational. I think of them like an abstract painting: potent with enough form to catch a feeling, create a mood, but not attempting any sort of literalism or narrative. They either do something for the reader, or they don't. And that's fine.
Like leaden filaments absorbing in the waves
by Gideon Burton
Like leaden filaments absorbing in
the waves, like liquid ash not grey not white,
not memory, not veins along the slight,
the undulating surfaces, but dim
enough, opaque as ignorance or grim
reluctances spread out across the night,
the hesitations of the comets, bright
enough for only outer planets, thin
and thinning for the rest of us, a skein
of kelp submerging then emerging, dulled
and drowning in the tepid light. As soft
as sand, or soft as footfall on the main,
untainted part of childhood that you pulled
in taffy strands and yet compelled aloft.
Feel free to copy, imitate, remix, or redistribute this poem as long as you give proper acknowledgment of authorship. Photo: flickr - tomt6788
It works for me. I love the back and forth movement and flow of the imagery.
ReplyDeleteIf I were a better writer, I'd be able to come up with a comment here that doesn't sound so pale. But I'm not, so I'll just say, "Very cool!"